script type="text/javascript">
<![CDATA[
<body>
]]>
Tuesday, May 16, 20065:40 PM
...
it happened not long ago...less dan 3 days.
i was so upset. i was so depress.
i felt so emo.
it was night time.
i walked to e toilet. not to relieve myself. but to shower myself back to my own senses.
as i walked to e toilet. i found my dad's packet of cigarette lying on e table. wads e brand again. smthn called dunhill or wad. red coloured-wif a lil golden tingy.
lying on top was a lighter.
i grab a stick along with e lighter n walk my way to e toilet..
tots flooded my mind.
y dint my dad brought his "life-killing/saving" packet wif him?
will my mom or bro wake up suddenly?
i pushed dem all aside n went in e toilet.
sitting down,i fiddled around with e stick n e lighter for 5 mins or so.
i finally lit it up.
e dirty ting irks me.e smoke suffocates me.
i wonder wad evn made me pick it up.
aft 30 secs or so..
i decide ..NO! not evn a puff.
i cant stand it.
i threw e stick str. into e toilet bowl n c it's immediate extinguish"ment".
dan i flush it down n swear nvr to evn touch it again.
i dont want to regret for e rest of my life bcus of a puff . bcus of a moment of avoidin reality.
well..
wad causes my pain.
wad made me touch tt ting?.
i dont kno.
i guess im ovr stress.
uh ya.
i got in simei beauty therapy.but my dad insist i shldnt go.
yea right.ur actions haf truly contradict wif e "wadeva-u-do-i-will-support-u-" words u put on ur mouth.
i dont kno y.
i get overly sensitive evy single time.
im super insecured.
n im super low in self esteem. yea.
='(
i look so hideous. n he look so hot.
wads more to say.?
i kno my own limits.i rili do.
whn he tries to shake me off wif a few words.
u dont kno hw my heart tears.
HURS.
he's just a crush . tt i kno.
i shld stop crushing on him b4 it's too late.
uh ya. i tink it's rili too late.
i seemed so super... addicted.
wadeva he says wadeva he does.
it made a rili deep imapct in me.
izit?
smthn made me evn worst ytd.
lucify went out.
='(
='(
='(
dey are rili gd.
i dont kno y dey are out. whn tt hideous XRF gets in evy single week wif e lowest point.
ya right. PROVE me dey gt more supporters. i bet e voting tingy is spoiled.
tt's y their votes are more dan lucify.
ASS.
but i super like e attitude of lucify fans.=)
dey are rili great n on.
dey made super friends too.
YEA.we wil work hard nxt week to revive lucify.
V-O-T-E.
we wil chiong.
((: when lucify fans unite.dere's nth we cant do.
((: lucify wil b revived.
ppl...watch wad u say anw.
i dont wanna hear any insults.
i will be nasty n ask u to fuck off.
=)
ya..dis seems a lil late.
but. mummy..happy mother's day~.
*i love occasions like dis.i get to eat my fave creamy cakes.
=) well. we celebrated twice. one for my mother..n one for my granny. =D
yummy cakes n yummy pizzas.=D
-sighs. i guess i shld stop gettin so deep in infatuation for u.
ur' too perfect .
i guess.
but dan. y m i so addicted to u?.
i so hope thurs faster come.i wanna c u.
ya.i so hope to c u more dan evy single week.
boy.u dont kno hw deeply crushed im.
•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-••-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•
